Rabbi dating advice
Mc Carthy writes about weddings and relationships in Sunday's Style section.
Boteeach is an author and radio and television personality, with an emphasis on relationships and spirituality.
He is also the host of TLC's "Shalom in the Home," a program that addresses familial household issues. For more marital and relationship advice and to see how other couples have gotten to the altar, visit our On Love section. ____________________ Ellen Mc Carthy: Good morning and Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.
I also told her that I was looking for a life partner. In addition, after my parents divorce I became engrossed in the question of how a man and woman can live happily under the same roof for the rest of their lives. C.: What is your best advice on maintaining individuality in a relationship? _______________________ For the Rabbi: I am a 52-year-old single mom. I notice that women my age who connect with someone in midlife generally are recycling old loves. I have been dating a man for almost two months; pretty casual. That's fine, but my question is, how can a woman let a man know that she is becoming more interested in him without coming across too strong? Tell him you like him and you enjoy spending time with him. If that kind of small commitment freaks him out, you're going to have problems down the road anyway. But he's finding that women he's interested in are running the other way when he tells them about the situation. And as long as it doesn't become something permanent - unless his mother is ill - then why not show his mother support in a difficult time. Marriages are partnerships for getting through life, creating and raising families, companionship, etc. That they're somehow entitled to perpetual passion. Her answer: "I really, really, really, really like you, but can't imagine what a long-term relationship would look like." Her husband died some years ago. How long should I wait for her to come through the door toward me? (Mine are married.) Joining community activities puts me in clubs and groups packed with other middle-aged women. Shmuley Boteaach: Try places where good men congregate. You want to find men who have substance and who aren't looking to date their daughter's friends. He has been courting me, and I don't want to take away from that. Even though his mom is staying in his house, and not the other way around, women seem to find this a red flag. He will find a woman who appreciates what a good man he is. _______________________ Ellen Mc Carthy: Obviously this can be a tough day for singles. Yes, there is a recreational/sexual aspect to relationships, but after a few years that aspect falls WAY down the list of priorities . They are entitled to perpetual love, respect and support. It should be harder to get into a marriage and harder to get out because in our modern society there is little difference between dating and marriage. _______________________ Richmond, Va.: What's the best way to deal with a potential partner who is on a different speed than you? What are the one or two best pieces of advice you have for people searching for love? I've gone on three dates with a guy, and he's ready for moving in, marriage, and children. I'd like to continue dating him, to see whether I'd like to take the next step, but I'm afraid that if I find that I am not that interested, that I'll have led him on for too long. By then you can easily ascertain whether the fundamentals of the relationship are present.