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A common theme that I see from guys I work with – and in our culture at large – is the tendency to look at women, especially the most beautiful ones, as some sort of foreign species. All anyone has to do is flip through the “guy advice” in a Cosmo to see what I’m talking about.Guys are always questioning – what should I talk about? A common thing that I’ve told many guys is that meeting, talking to, and attracting members of the opposite sex is fundamentally simple – and that it is only the barriers that our mind creates that makes it so difficult sometimes. – and in fact many of those exact same guys would be shocked to know that many women, even the most beautiful ones, think the same thing about us.By jumping into the mind of a beautiful woman – to better understand where she’s coming from and what she’s thinking – this is one of the first steps in lowering some of those barriers.Let me start with an oversimplification: Women are insecure.Now as a disclaimer, of course this does not apply to all women – only to most – and I don’t mean it as an insult, because hell, in today’s day and age the vast majority of us are insecure.What I’m talking about is that feeling you sometimes have of nervousness, of worrying that she’s judging you, feeling that you’re not good/funny/handsome/cool enough – I’m saying that she’s most likely feeling it too.
And why do magazines present these airbrushed, almost unattainable images as the standard of beauty?
Because insecure people buy more shit they don’t need to feel whole than secure people – but that’s for another article altogether.
And I know what you’re saying: “OK Nick, I follow, most girls feel insecure – but those aren’t the most beautiful ones. The truly beautiful women, the ones who do live up to the barely attainable standards of beauty in magazines – they’re not insecure.” I can see why this idea would be attractive. There’s even a popular myth going around that incredibly beautiful women at the bar – or anywhere else for that matter – feel as though they have the “most value” wherever they are and that for a man to attract them he has to bring her down a couple of pegs or even to try to elevate his own status to even be considered as a potential mate for her.
First of all, the fact that the type of thinking that places beautiful women on the same level as a narcissistic dictator who harshly judges the behavior of her prospective suitors even exists is an excellent example of why there are millions of unhappily single men and women out there.
If you find yourself believing this to some degree than what I will say next will come as a shock to you, but often the most beautiful women (by current societal standards) are, on average, the most insecure women of all.
Now I’ll admit that these women are most likely used to being put on a pedestal.