Dating after divorce how to bring back love and sex

28-Jan-2019 00:33

I laugh about this now, but really, last year, it was a real, even feverish, feeling. And yet, I'd think, Well, not ideal, but I can work with this.

After 13 years being married, I was so afraid of the idea of being alone. I felt like the kid in PE class who is suddenly standing alone on the gym floor—the last to be picked for one team or another.

I'd lie in bed at night, listening to the Indie Love Song station on Pandora and scroll through messages from random guys on Ok Cupid or and stare at their photos, and read their messages, littered with grammar errors and feel very underwhelmed and unimpressed.

And so I put my foot on the gas, and I revved up the engine. And I was breaking every speed limit on the freeway.

So the "solution" that my very damaged heart came up with was to speed my way through this interim period.

I'm extremely picky, and I'd most often count down the minutes until an hour had passed and I could finish my drink and thank the guy for the "lovely evening" and then, quickly, find my way home."Aren't you getting tired of this?

A dude who talked about his cats for two hours straight.

Tired of finding a cute dress to wear before a first date. I've invested in my friendships, in experiences, in "me" time (the above photo was taken on a beautiful night at the beach. I don't want to miss all the stops along the way.

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He included a lot of cheerful words about my personality— Philip and I started dating when we were college sophomores.For a decade, we traveled the world, reading books in cafés and studying new languages.But as time passed, we grew to want different lives.He wanted roots: a finance career in Europe, kids who ski and dive.